A glimpse at part of Stephen's platform for President of the United States

From a video-campaign stop in South Carolina last week:

Those attending got a few laughs from a video message from Charleston native Stephen Colbert, the host of "The Colbert Report" on the Comedy Channel.

He choked back crocodile tears at being kept off the presidential primary ballot in South Carolina.

"I wanted to be president of South Carolina so bad," he said. "I was going to be sworn in on a sack of pork ribs and I was going to institute the death penalty for eating Chinese shrimp."

Mmmm, sack of pork ribs. (insert appropriate onomatopoeia for Homer drooling here)

Even idiots mocked by Stephen support him for President of the United States

Too true. The Seattle Times details the intelligence-challenged, sexist, misogynist part of the American electorate and finds that they, even knowing that the whole premise of Stephen's show is mocking them, their politics, and their method of self-expression, support his campaign for President.

People need to see the humor in politics, he [Daniel Jussaume] said. He loves Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart and "The Colbert Report," and is among the more than 1.4 million members of the Facebook group "1,000,000 strong for Stephen T. Colbert," even though he knows Stewart and Colbert mock his conservative politics.

Ah, bringing Americans together, the mocking and the mocked, in full support of the mocking of the mocked. Just goes to show you, Stephen's a uniter, not a divider. Good stuff.

Ed. See also, this guy.

Heiress, wealthy socialite endorses Stephen!

Under the headline, Lydia Hearst Still Thinks Stephen Colbert Should Run for President, the Daily Intelligencer reported this past week that the heiress, model, columnist for Page Six the Magazine, designer for Puma, and great-grand-daughter of William Randolph Hearst endorsed Stephen Colbert for President of the United States.

Let's see, what does that endorsement get Stephen.

1) Deep pockets to fund his campaign (his very own George Soros!)
2) Wealthy socialite to organize campaign fundraising events. (his very own, hotter, Pat Buckley)
3) Someone who's genes simply know how to manipulate press coverage for political ends.
4) Influential columnist.
5) Designer for the inaugural gala.
6) Someone who knows who to attract attention.

Time to strike up Hail to the Cheese!

Bowing out himself, influential late night talk show host endorses Stephen Colbert for President

Yep, Jon Stewart finally yielded to the unstoppable force that is Stephen Colbert's candidacy for President of the United States. As reported by Ms. Interpreted at the No Fact Zone, Jon Stewart succumbed to a brutal question and answer session at the University of Delaware to admit the truth:

To wrap things up, he took a few questions from the audience. Most of them were the same things that get asked all the time: will you come to my keg party after the show (”Yes. I, a 45-year old man, will come to your keg party. And I’ll drink and dance until four in the morning, when the ‘what the f*#k were you thinking?’ police come to get me.”) and why won’t you run for President (”Because I am not qualified. And there is a shoebox full of pictures of me, like, with a beer in one hand and my dick in a tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! that would pretty much disqualify me on the spot.”) variety. He was also asked whether he supported Stephen Colbert for President, a question that received an affirmative response ...

So you heard it here first, um, that is, obviously, second.