Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Help Darcy Burner!

Darcy Burner is a real hero, one that all of Colbert Nation can surely support. She lost her house and virtually everything to a fire. The heroes of Colbert Nation should step up and get her back. She's link #2 here so go do the right thing.

Monday, December 03, 2007

A glimpse at part of Stephen's platform for President of the United States

From a video-campaign stop in South Carolina last week:

Those attending got a few laughs from a video message from Charleston native Stephen Colbert, the host of "The Colbert Report" on the Comedy Channel.

He choked back crocodile tears at being kept off the presidential primary ballot in South Carolina.

"I wanted to be president of South Carolina so bad," he said. "I was going to be sworn in on a sack of pork ribs and I was going to institute the death penalty for eating Chinese shrimp."
Mmmm, sack of pork ribs. (insert appropriate onomatopoeia for Homer drooling here)

Even idiots mocked by Stephen support him for President of the United States

Too true. The Seattle Times details the intelligence-challenged, sexist, misogynist part of the American electorate and finds that they, even knowing that the whole premise of Stephen's show is mocking them, their politics, and their method of self-expression, support his campaign for President.
People need to see the humor in politics, he [Daniel Jussaume] said. He loves Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart and "The Colbert Report," and is among the more than 1.4 million members of the Facebook group "1,000,000 strong for Stephen T. Colbert," even though he knows Stewart and Colbert mock his conservative politics.
Ah, bringing Americans together, the mocking and the mocked, in full support of the mocking of the mocked. Just goes to show you, Stephen's a uniter, not a divider. Good stuff.

Ed. See also, this guy.


Heiress, wealthy socialite endorses Stephen!

Under the headline, Lydia Hearst Still Thinks Stephen Colbert Should Run for President, the Daily Intelligencer reported this past week that the heiress, model, columnist for Page Six the Magazine, designer for Puma, and great-grand-daughter of William Randolph Hearst endorsed Stephen Colbert for President of the United States.

Let's see, what does that endorsement get Stephen.

1) Deep pockets to fund his campaign (his very own George Soros!)
2) Wealthy socialite to organize campaign fundraising events. (his very own, hotter, Pat Buckley)
3) Someone who's genes simply know how to manipulate press coverage for political ends.
4) Influential columnist.
5) Designer for the inaugural gala.
6) Someone who knows who to attract attention.

Time to strike up Hail to the Cheese!


Bowing out himself, influential late night talk show host endorses Stephen Colbert for President

Yep, Jon Stewart finally yielded to the unstoppable force that is Stephen Colbert's candidacy for President of the United States. As reported by Ms. Interpreted at the No Fact Zone, Jon Stewart succumbed to a brutal question and answer session at the University of Delaware to admit the truth:

To wrap things up, he took a few questions from the audience. Most of them were the same things that get asked all the time: will you come to my keg party after the show (”Yes. I, a 45-year old man, will come to your keg party. And I’ll drink and dance until four in the morning, when the ‘what the f*#k were you thinking?’ police come to get me.”) and why won’t you run for President (”Because I am not qualified. And there is a shoebox full of pictures of me, like, with a beer in one hand and my dick in a tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! that would pretty much disqualify me on the spot.”) variety. He was also asked whether he supported Stephen Colbert for President, a question that received an affirmative response ...
So you heard it here first, um, that is, obviously, second.

Labels: ,

Thursday, November 29, 2007

WISN-TV in Milwaukee, Wisconsin says Let my Stephen Run!

Breaking news this week - South Carolina native son Stephen Colbert getting a less than frosty reception in other states. Amy Chadek, in her opinion piece for WISN: calls Stephen Colbert's campaign for president "just as legitimate as any other candidate". (yes, she's talking to you Tom Tancredo, Duncan Hunter, the two Thompsons, Joe Biden, Bill Richardson, Dennis Kucinich, Ron Paul, and John McCain).


Friday, October 19, 2007

200,000 Americans sign up to support Stephen in less than 3 days!

That's right - enterprising young'uns have got a page going to get a million strong for Stephen Colbert for President of the United States. And in three days, they've got how many people signed up? That's right Over 200,000 (see screenshot). At 66,000 people per day, Stephen will should have the support of more than half of the registered voters in the United States by the election of 2008, and my 2019, as President-Elect-For-Life, will have the support of every man, woman, and child in the United State of America. So, get on the Colbert bandwagon early and go to the front of the line for stays in the Lincoln Bedroom.

Stephen Colbert Wraps up the Republican Primaries- Two thirds of the Holy Trinity can't be wrong

Seriously. Who else can claim the backing of both God the Father and God the Son? No one but Stephen Colbert, that's who!

2531.Jesus Christ I am the savior.
Pretty sure that makes voting for someone else in the Republican primary of South Carolina a sin.


Vote early, vote often people!

Its often said that in a democracy, its one man, one vote. Often said by losers! In Colbert Nation, we understand the old Chicago adage, "Vote early. Vote often." Take the Bottrells for example. In the space of just 24 spots on the petition supporting Stephen Colbert's run for the presidency, they've nailed down 5 spots. Kind of makes you and your single signature to the petition look like a bit of a piker, no?

1835.Robert James Bottrell
1834.Robert James Bottrell

1814.Rebecca Bottrell woo
1813.Robert Bottrell
1812.Robert Bottrell

Race-changing news in the race for the White House news totally missed (or suppressed?!?!?) by the MSM

That's right, Stephen Colbert has perhaps the most important endorsement in the race for President of the United States. This endorsement will instantly get him millions of supporters and will instantly make him a front-runner in both parties. Who has such pull and endorsed Stephen in his run for President. Well, it's as clear as day - at number 1917 in the online petition, STEPHEN COLBERT has endorsed Stephen Colbert for President of the United States!

1917.stephen colbert


Big oil gets behind Stephen Colbert's candidacy!

Come 'n listen to my story 'bout a man named Jed
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed
And then one day, he was shootin' at some food
And up through the ground come a bubblin' crude
Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea

Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire
Kin folk said, Jed, support Stephen Colbert
Said, Carolina is the place you oughta be
So they loaded up the truck and moved to The Battery
Park, that is, promenades, artillery
That's right, Jed Clampett has signed up to support Stephen Colbert's candidacy for President of the United States.

2122. Jed Clampett
And what Jed Clampett wants, Jed Clampett gets. So, y'all support Stephen Colbert now, y'hear?


Tupac is in da house!

That's right, the biggest selling rap artist of all time, Tupac Shakur, has posthumously endorsed Stephen Colbert for President on the petition to get him to run for President. And if anyone can do something posthumously, it's Tupac Shakur!

2513.tupac shakur seven clock door seven


First president endorses our next President, Stephen Colbert

The man who got the Presidency off to a running start endorses the only candidate running who cannot tell a lie (because whatever he says, becomes the truth), Stephen Colbert, clocking in at number 2596 on the petition urging Stephen to run. washington

It's becoming clear to me now why Stephen's running on both the Republican and Democratic tickets. He is clearly the candidate of old white patriarchs (not to mention two thirds of the Holy Trinity have signed the petition), locking down the Republican primaries, as well as of people who are dead, locking down some of the big Democratic Primaries, like Illinois.


Stephen Colbert's candidacy welcomed by the Democratic Party of Southern California

Yep - he's a favorite son - lovingly welcomed by the party of his home state to compete, and you know he will. Details via The Social, a blog at CNet News.

American Poet Laureate throws his support behind Stephen Colbert

No, not Donald Hall ....

THE American Poet Laureate, Robert Frost, signs the petition in support of Stephen's candidacy:

2782.Robert Frost
In an exclusive (must cite Stephen Colbert for President of the United States), Frost added in a missive scrawled upon faded parchment::

Stopping By A Voting Booth On A Snowy Evening
Whose nation this is I think I know.
On Comedy Central is his show;
He will not see us voting here
To help a nation him to follow.
The precinct watcher must think it queer
To vote without a platform clear
Except a thirst for truth to slake
And end the rampage of the BEAR.
She gives her voter rolls a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the hum
Of vote machines now on the take.
The polls are lovely, dark and bare.
It's time our nation to repair,
And to elect Stephen Colbert,
And to elect Stephen Colbert.


Tom Hanks says - You've got a Presidential candidate in Stephen Colbert

That's right, Tom Hanks has endorsed Stephen's run for the presidency. Once again, the entire MSM ignores when a Hollywood big wig shakes off his wayward, left coast ways and endorses a candidate supported by the heartland. Well, we report and decide here at this blog. And its true: Tom Hanks has signed the petition supporting Stephen Colbert for President. In fact, he begs for Stephen to run. Ha - we scooped Variety and the NY Times!

2780.Tom Hanks Do we have to beg? I'm not above begging at this point.


Stephen Colbert compared favorably to Ronald Reagan

It's true - Spencer Ritter said it on the internets so it must be true. It's practically on Wikiality for pete's sake.

2831.Spencer Ritter Ronald Reagan did it, so can you.

Alexander Hamilton endorses Stephen Colbert for President!

That's right, the $10 bills in your wallet or purse are talking to you. What are they saying? They're saying give me to support Stephen Colbert for President of the United States! After all, if Alexander Hamilton, first Secretary of the Treasury, can rise up out of the grave to be one of the more than 4000 to voice their support for Stephen Colbert's candidacy for President by signing a petition of support:
3828.Alexander Hamilton We need you Stephen. Please save us!!!
Well, then the least you can do is to take that $10 bill and contribute it to Stephen Colbert's candidacy!


The People's Media Company endorses Stephen Colbert for President of the United States

That makes it official, right? If the people want Stephen Colbert to be president, then, since we live in a democracy, he should be president. And who better to represent the views of the people, than the people's media company, Associated Content, who just recently endorsed Stephen Colbert for President of the United States (well assuming, Jon Stewart and Brett Favre aren't running which they're not since Stephen is and they know who wins that matchup).


Get Stephen on Act Blue

A while back I talked to the people at Act Blue and they said they wouldn't include Stephen Colbert because he wasn't a legitimate candidate. I think that bar has been passed - plus, let's be honest, he's ultimately a more serious candidate than Mike Gravel. Time for people at Colbert Nation to tell ActBlue to add him to their list of candidates to which people can contribute. You can take action at

He is actually running, which is more than can be said for Al Gore (who has four committees and over 200k raised via ActBlue).

Get on it Colbert Nation!

Stephen Colbert runs Sam Brownback out of the race for President

As reported by CBS news, in announcing his candidacy, Stephen Colbert has vanquished another candidate from the race for President of the United States of America: Senator Sam Brownback.

In the end, there can be only one - and that one will be Stephen Colbert!


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Support Stephen Colbert at ActBlue - New BKAD member, Stephanie Tubbs Jones added

Another early member of Congress to appear in the BKAD series is Stephanie Tubbs Jones.

We've added her to our Stephen Colbert for President page at Act Blue. Help Stephen raise the political capital necessary for his inevitable run for president by throwing your support Stephanie's way via the Stephen Colbert for President page at Act Blue. Remember, the money primary is already under way so let's make sure Stephen wins it!


Stephen Colbert subtly announced his candidacy for President of the United States

At the Charleston Riverdogs game this past Saturday, Stephen Colbert very cleverly made his intentions clear to the nation (or at least to Charleston) by wearing a jersey that said Colbert 08. We couldn't have said it better ourselves.

HT, No Fact Zone.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Unity '08 piggybacks on Stephen Colbert's run for President of the United States

Unity '08 brilliantly used a self-evident question (Should Stephen Colbert run for President (massive participation with answers running above 85% in favor last we checked - SUH-PRISE, SUH-PRISE, SUH-PRISE) to get a lot of Colbert Nation to sign up for Unity '08.

Unfortunately, they may prove to be too clever by half. Colbert Nation wants Stephen to run for President. And what Colbert Nation wants, Colbert Nation gets. After all, we are the heroes (Stephen says so, and, he is never wrong).

So guess who's going to be winning the presidency on the Unity '08 ticket. Stephen Colbert, that's who.

GQ supports Stephen Colbert for President of the United States

In case you missed the issue, Gentleman's Quarterly is supporting Stephen Colbert's candidacy wholeheartedly. With that resume and the lady vote, he's a shoo-in for sure.

Building capital for Stephen Colbert's run for the presidency

Next up, we've added the second member of the Better Know a District series to Stephen's ActBlue page. Luckily, he just happens to be one of the best representatives in the House right now. He's been en fuego since the election, with some outstanding quips on the floor of the house, clearly benefiting from the Colbert bump.

Frank's lesson in parliamentary procedure (a classic)

Frank drive-by put down of Patrick McHenry (another classic)

Frank - Did they think we were going through their pockets? (another great one)

Frank (in the minority) - Most ethically repugnant, intellectually, dishonest, morally bankrupt ... conscious, deliberate deception

Time for a little bit more of the Colbert magic!

Support Barney Frank and Stephen Colbert for President!


Support Stephen Colbert at ActBlue

The political campaign season is in its lull but that's the perfect time to get the fundraising started to get a jump on the marathon that starts on Labor Day.

So, to help start generating political support, we've started the Stephen Colbert page at Act Blue. And what better way to get it started than with the home of the Stephen Colbert Museum, Colbert County, Alabama.

So here it is folks. Contribute early. Contribute often!

Support Stephen Colbert for President!

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Kissinger supports Stephen Colbert for President

Of course, Stephen got the scoop himself directly from the source. If you missed it, you can see it again here.

Kissinger for Stephen Colbert for President

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Colbert suitable for Presidency?

We have it on quite good authority he is. Whose authority? Stephen's, of course! Here's a recollection from Poynter Online's Writing Tools by Roy Peter Clark:

During the last presidential campaign, Stephen Colbert, as I recall, satirized this tendency by declaring his own suitability for high office as the son of French "goat turd farmers."
So, Stephen was way ahead of the curve, as always, noting his own suitability for high office long before anyone else noticed.

Update: Indeed, Stephen was so far ahead of the curve, that he apparently is even more suitable than the son of French goat turd farmers. Here's a slightly different recollection from much closer to the election at Notes From Atlanta.

Rarely does anything make me fall on the floor laughing. The Daily Show did last night. The report was on Edward's son of a millworker and Gephardt's son of a milk man humble beginings. But who could possibly top Obama's humble orgins as a son of a goat herder? From my memory, Steven (sic) Colbert:

"Well Jon, I am the son of a turd farmer and the grandson of a goat ball licker.
Yes Jon, a goat ball licker. You see, in the old days the most important thing was to keep the goats happy. The easist way to to that...

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Indecision 2008

Comedy central has Stephen Colbert's stealth 2008 candidacy website up and running now at

Looking at one of the pictures, I'd have to say they should really change the name to, because this picture just screams (and not even under torture) "I'm the decider"

Stephen Colbert wants YOU! (to vote for him for President)

Dick Cheney - America's Scariest Authoritarian Leader says vote for Stephen Colbert for President

Lest you forget - Dick Cheney has vowed not to run for President to clear the way for Stephen's candidacy according to a high-ranking administration official, who prefers to remain anonymous so the Vice-President doesn't eat his liver with fava beans a nice Chianti. Moreover, as revealed in the Angler series in the Washington Post, he is clearly America's scariest authoritarian leader.

And really, people, you don't want to be on the bad side of America's scariest authoritarian leader (though if you do, go here).

As Stephen says, this
is never not scary.

The election is officially over, people.

Stephen has a new endorsement in 2008. The big Kahuna. The Alpha. The Omega. The omniscient, the omnipotent, the omniprescent one. The most powerful being in the Universe. (No, not Vice President Cheney)

That's right. God wants Stephen Colbert to be President of the United States (and you'll note how he also hinted that Stephen is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything by signing the petition at #42. Need we say more?

For those photojournalists who were sleeping on the job, one of the staffers here at SCFPOTUS caught the moment on his cellphone camera.

Stewie Griffin gives up quest for world domination, perhaps settling for being the man behind Stephen Colbert's throne

One of the most serious contenders for President/world domination (face it, its pretty much the same thing now), Stewie Griffin, has bowed out, endorsing Stephen Colbert for President of the United States at #27 here.

I'd say that kind of clears the field of major contenders for world domination, no?

And really, what's better than the open endorsement of and backing by a Machiavellian genius.

Can he do it? Duh!

A new endorsement that should win over the different trade unions (the working man knows who is on his, or HER, side - its a modern world, after all).

That's right, Bob the Builder, has come out in support of Stephen for President, displaying his trademark confidence at #1695 here:

1695.Bob The Builder Stephen! You must run for president! Can he do it? Yes he can!Colbertocrat

We have but one quibble. Seriously, Bob, it's not even open to question. Can he do it? Well, duh.

President Bush names his successor: reaffirms his nomination of Stephen Colbert for President

Many a political pundit has commented on the unusual predicament the 2008 election forms for many voters - without a incumbent president or vice-president running, who is the lazy voter to vote for without having to read or think.

Well, as always, President Bush hears the cries of the common man. And he, in his wisdom, has appointed his successor, Stephen Colbert at number 1338 here.

Indeed, in his eloquent wisdom, he says:

1338.George Dubya Bush He would be much betterer than myself's own person.
And, since President Bush is not just a great but the greatest President ever (the only two choices really), and President Bush, who is never wrong, has said that Stephen is the betterer of the two of them .... that would make President Bush only the greatest President ... so far. And, by the transitive property, would make Stephen Colbert the greatestest President ever after he is elected unanimously in 2008.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Just to make sure you were paying attention, President Lincoln endorses Stephen again

Realizing that when you're president, "you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda", our 16th President has re-endorsed Stephen Colbert for President at the online petition to your right. After all, "“Sometimes you’re the commander in chief. Sometimes you’re the educator in chief, and a lot of times you’re both ....” In his role as both commander and educator in chief, Lincoln is reminding us of the fact that it us our duty to elect Stephen Colbert for President in 2008 and why:
Abraham Lincoln
Ever since I died, no one else has had Balls Like Stephen
Succinctly put with eloquence as always, Mr. President!

Taking the lead in the "Money Primary": Mr. Drysdale endorses Colbert as the "Greatest President!"

I'm sure you've all watched enough Beverly Hillbillies to know that Mr. Drysdale pretty much has control over the Clampett fortune (so long as Jethro hasn't blown it all in some poorly-thought out get-richer scheme).

In a rare interview by Susie Felber here, where she sneakily tries to trick him into slamming Stephen, Mr. Drysdale, quick on his feet as always comes out full force for Stephen:

Felber: Stephen Colbert: Ruthless taskmaster or unforgiving tyrant?

Drysdale: Greatest president.

There you have it. A titan in the world of finance, trustee of the Clampett fortune, Mr. Drysdale endorsing Stephen as the Greatest President Ever before he even takes office.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The thanks of a grateful nation

We're a bit behind on our Thanksgiving post, but we firmly believe that we all have Stephen Colbert to thank for the fact that we'll never have to hear the words President of the United States Richard Cheney. One must read between the lines a litle bit, but clearly, courageous man that he is, even Vice President Cheney knew that he could not withstand the coming Colbert for President juggernaut. And so, he has adamantly and repeatedly withdrawn himself from consideration for the Presidency to spare himself the Sisyphean futility and humiliation that would come with such an effort.

And, knowing the Vice-President to be a man of his word, the nation has responded with no known effort to draft him for President (other than the cuh-razies over at the Washington Times or the ongoing attempt to backdoor draft him by impeaching his boss) unlike other potential candidates who have many clamoring for their candidacy despite their repeated declarations they are not running.

Or perhaps everyone just knows how good Dick Cheney is at dodging a draft.

Confirmed: President Bush supports Stephen Colbert for President

With the power vacuum developing since the sitting Vice-President has declared he is not running for president (Thank Colbert!), it's not surprising that the nation's chattering classes are all agog over who the President will support for President. Once again proving they are not paying attention, the mediosphere has totally missed that President Bush has already decided to back Stephen Colbert for President by signing the petition to draft him to run, and by doing so, in true Colbert Nation fashion, by signing the petition twice at numbers 140 and 141.

Chelsea deals huge blow to mom's candidacy - endorses Stephen Colbert for President

In fact, she's a very early signatory (#31) to the petition to draft Stephen Colbert. That's huge - I'd say that takes out another big possible contender. If you can't win your own daughter's support for presidency, how can you possibly win the support of the netroots, much less the electorate in general.

Abraham Lincoln posthumously supports Stephen Colbert for President

He is signatory #261 on the petition to draft Stephen to run for President of our great land. With 16 and 43 in his corner, Stephen Colbert has cornered the market on endorsements by the greatest Presidents ever.

Stephen Colbert for President: a modern Heracles slaying the Bush family Hydra

Ah, BuzzFlash Reader, you had me at "Heracles (read that Stephen Colbert)" .

Archegooglists reveal first known endorsement of Stephen Colbert for President

A leading light of the progressive netroots, the inimitable, indefatigable, and dare-we-say, near-omniscient Digby was banging the Colbert for Presidency drum three and a half years before Hotline woke up to the emerging Zeitgeist. Maybe they should change the name to RoomTemperatureline.

Seems like some members of the liberal media are getting ahead of themselves...

Just like with George W. Bush, you first have to be elected president (or at least appointed president by the decision of a Supreme Court filled with conflicts of interest, the least of which is being appointed by your dad) before you can consolidate power and declare yourself king. No matter how sexy he may be, first things first, San Francisco Chronicle.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Stephen Colbert - He's not just member of the sexiest men alive club, he's the President

At least according to the online newsmagazine, Salon, where he was named the sexiest man living. Take that, People Magazine - sexy surprise, sheesh. Well, we're not surprised that the magazine of the People went with a notable Hollywood liberal.

Anyway, it's about time we had a President with sex appeal again, rather than one who gives awkward, unwanted backrubs to other heads of state (Daterub is still rub, sir). Where have you gone, John F. Kennedy? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Indeed.

Oh, and let's not forget, Stephen has successfully vanquished another opponent, George Clooney, who announced back in September he wouldn't be running for political office for fear of running into the juggernaut that is the most popular celebrity write in vote getter*.

*In White County, GA

Stephen Colbert receives the most write in votes ...

Of any celebrity in White County, Georgia. Clearly, the good people of White County recognize his qualifications for public office, drafting him to serve simultaneously in three different roles, State Senator, State Representative, and District Attorney. (I'd be willing to bet that if the write-ins around the country were checked, he'd have a great many more.) Surely, if he is qualified to hold three different public offices at once, than holding just one, even if it is President of the United States, should be a cake-walk. I am sure he'll be greeted in Washington as a liberator.

(Hat tip to DB over at the No Fact Zone)

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Colbert wins the only Presidential primary that matters, handily dispatching Jon Stewart head to head

Strength to strength, clip to clip, Stephen Colbert faced down and dispatched his most credible competitor for the 2008 Presidential race, Jon Stewart. Last week, Rolling Stone revealed that Stephen Colbert had won The Great American Fake-Off accompanied by a "possible cash award" (which as any Washington political insider can tell you, is code for off-the-books cash "campaign contribution", usually seen with politicians that get incredibly lucky at cards, in casinos, or even "rest stops" - there's a couple of other examples out there of how incredibly lucky politicians get when gambling, especially when playing cards with campaign contributors, but we couldn't put our collective finger on them). We're eagerly awaiting Jon's concession call and pledge of support.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Rolling Stone scoops the world: Stephen Colbert tacitly admits he is running for president, drops Stewart from ticket, names Obama as running mate

In Maureen Dowd's piece for Rolling Stone excerpted here, Stephen Colbert acknowledged, albeit indirectly, that he is, in fact, running for president.

"When Colbert traveled recently to his alma mater, Northwestern University, to be the grand marshal at the school's homecoming parade, he noticed "Colbert/Obama '08" T-shirts throughout the crowd. ("I can't tell Jon I'm dropping him to go with Barack,'' Colbert tells me later. "Maybe he'll read it in this article.")"

More importantly, he also reveals that Jon Stewart, beloved mentor that he may be, has been dropped from the ticket in favor of Barack Obama who clearly brings some serious political star wattage to the ticket. Of course, this also reveals Colbert's clear political acumen. In one fell swoop in a throwaway paragraph in Rolling Stone, Colbert cuts the legs out from under two of his strongest rivals for the presidency in one fell swoop, one by abruptly leaking that he's being dropped from the ticket and the other by naming him as his VP candidate. A move like that takes balls, and Stephen Colbert, though you probably need not be reminded, has big brass ones the size of coconuts. And, at the same time, reveals that one of this nation's leading academic institutions is endorsing him for President.


Some people might foolishly wonder whether Stephen Colbert has what it takes for a long, grueling political campaign

To them we say, pshaw. One need only reflect back a few months to Stephen Colbert's first and greatest defeat of a political opponent, Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris and Stephen went head to head for the naming rights to a magnificent bridge in Hungary and, well, Stephen kicked Norris' ass all over the internet. The magnitude of the blowout was something akin to Dizzy Gillespie against a birthday cake. Indeed, Norris after early leads didn't even finish in the top 5 of either phase of the voting. And Colbert's performance was, by all accounts, against the man:
  • whose calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd because no one fools Chuck Norris.
  • who counted to infinity - twice.
  • who was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
  • who can slam revolving doors.
  • who doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • who can divide by zero.
  • who, when he gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
  • whose wristwatch has no numbers on it but just says, "Time to kick ass."
  • who the Boogeyman checks his closet for when he goes to sleep each night.
... among other things. And Stephen mopped the dirty, scuz-ridden floor of the internet with him. Thus, Stephen Colbert should be Alpha Dog of the Year (if not of all time, as he did, after all, defeat Chuck Norris who forced God to rest on the seventh day by putting him in a sleeper hold). If Colbert can handily dispatch of Chuck Norris in a few weeks of internet voting (in Hungarian no less), he'll certainly make quick work of a bunch of lily-livered, flip-flopping, finger-in-the wind (and not even to wag it) politicians named after reindeer or who had to plagiarize a little-known British politician to figure out what to say in their political speeches.

Leading libertarian ahead of the curve endorsed Stephen Colbert for President in July

Libertarian commentator and public intellectual Llewellyn H. Rockwell, Jr., in the blog on his website endorsed Stephen Colbert for President for his unique ability to ridicule or "nail" politicians on his show. One can only imagine what candidate Colbert would unleash in a presidential debate. Wait, that's incorrect. One can't only imagine it - one can see it, coming in Fall of 2007, and one can be a part of it by helping to draft Citizen Colbert to his destiny.

Senator Russell Feingold implicitly endorses Stephen Colbert for President

Mere moments after Hotline subtly revealed that Stephen Colbert would be running for President in 2008, the very honorable Senator Russell Feingold announced that he would not be running for President. Though his words said that he wanted to advance a progressive agenda in the Senate, his gut was clearly revealing that he didn't want to stand in the way of the Colbert in 2008 juggernaut. Though, to give him credit, he did exhibit some serious cajones in facing the juggernaut a whole month more than former Governor of Virgina, Mark Warner. Seriously thought, this falling all over each other to get out of the way of coming Colbert hurricane is a phenomenon in need of a name - we're going to go with


1) the utter dread of being nailed by Stephen Colbert (see the incumbents who were afraid to face Stephen in his 435-part Better Know a District series).
2(008) the fear of being humiliated in an election by the electoral juggernaut of Stephen Colbert backed by the unstoppable force of Colbert Nation.

Maclean's endorses Colbert for President

Canada's first weekly newsmagazine which also happens to be Canada's 100 year old "premier weekly newsmagazine" has endorsed Colbert for President. And while it is against the law for foreign governments attempting to influence American political campaigns, there is no law prohibiting premier weekly newsmagazines from other countries (however Franco-philic they might be) from doing so. So, to paraphrase Maclean's, throw off votre chaînes, Canada, get formally admitted as our 51st state (you'll have to hurry to beat Puerto Rico) and legally help elect our future president, Stephen Colbert.

Democratic Underground endorses Colbert for President

That's right, you read that correctly. Though we're not entirely certain whether this means expat American subway riders in London or the assorted subterranean creatures that tend to vote Democratic out of hopes for more liberal immigration or broader affirmative action policies for non-humans but either way, the Democratic Underground recognizes that Stephen Colbert rises above all their petty, partisan interests and can lead our nation back to the greatness to which it aspires.