Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Monday, December 03, 2007
A glimpse at part of Stephen's platform for President of the United States
Those attending got a few laughs from a video message from Charleston native Stephen Colbert, the host of "The Colbert Report" on the Comedy Channel.Mmmm, sack of pork ribs. (insert appropriate onomatopoeia for Homer drooling here)
He choked back crocodile tears at being kept off the presidential primary ballot in South Carolina.
"I wanted to be president of South Carolina so bad," he said. "I was going to be sworn in on a sack of pork ribs and I was going to institute the death penalty for eating Chinese shrimp."
Even idiots mocked by Stephen support him for President of the United States
People need to see the humor in politics, he [Daniel Jussaume] said. He loves Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart and "The Colbert Report," and is among the more than 1.4 million members of the Facebook group "1,000,000 strong for Stephen T. Colbert," even though he knows Stewart and Colbert mock his conservative politics.Ah, bringing Americans together, the mocking and the mocked, in full support of the mocking of the mocked. Just goes to show you, Stephen's a uniter, not a divider. Good stuff.
Ed. See also, this guy.
Heiress, wealthy socialite endorses Stephen!
Let's see, what does that endorsement get Stephen.
1) Deep pockets to fund his campaign (his very own George Soros!)
2) Wealthy socialite to organize campaign fundraising events. (his very own, hotter, Pat Buckley)
3) Someone who's genes simply know how to manipulate press coverage for political ends.
4) Influential columnist.
5) Designer for the inaugural gala.
6) Someone who knows who to attract attention.
Time to strike up Hail to the Cheese!
Bowing out himself, influential late night talk show host endorses Stephen Colbert for President
To wrap things up, he took a few questions from the audience. Most of them were the same things that get asked all the time: will you come to my keg party after the show (”Yes. I, a 45-year old man, will come to your keg party. And I’ll drink and dance until four in the morning, when the ‘what the f*#k were you thinking?’ police come to get me.”) and why won’t you run for President (”Because I am not qualified. And there is a shoebox full of pictures of me, like, with a beer in one hand and my dick in a tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! that would pretty much disqualify me on the spot.”) variety. He was also asked whether he supported Stephen Colbert for President, a question that received an affirmative response ...So you heard it here first, um, that is, obviously, second.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
WISN-TV in Milwaukee, Wisconsin says Let my Stephen Run!
Friday, October 19, 2007
200,000 Americans sign up to support Stephen in less than 3 days!
That's right - enterprising young'uns have got a page going to get a million strong for Stephen Colbert for President of the United States. And in three days, they've got how many people signed up? That's right Over 200,000 (see screenshot). At 66,000 people per day, Stephen will should have the support of more than half of the registered voters in the United States by the election of 2008, and my 2019, as President-Elect-For-Life, will have the support of every man, woman, and child in the United State of America. So, get on the Colbert bandwagon early and go to the front of the line for stays in the Lincoln Bedroom.
Stephen Colbert Wraps up the Republican Primaries- Two thirds of the Holy Trinity can't be wrong
Pretty sure that makes voting for someone else in the Republican primary of South Carolina a sin.
2531. Jesus Christ I am the savior.
Vote early, vote often people!
1835. Robert James Bottrell � � 1834. Robert James Bottrell � � .... 1814. Rebecca Bottrell woo � 1813. Robert Bottrell � � 1812. Robert Bottrell
Race-changing news in the race for the White House news totally missed (or suppressed?!?!?) by the MSM
Big oil gets behind Stephen Colbert's candidacy!
Come 'n listen to my story 'bout a man named JedThat's right, Jed Clampett has signed up to support Stephen Colbert's candidacy for President of the United States.
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed
And then one day, he was shootin' at some food
And up through the ground come a bubblin' crude
Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea
Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire
Kin folk said, Jed, support Stephen Colbert
Said, Carolina is the place you oughta be
So they loaded up the truck and moved to The Battery
Park, that is, promenades, artillery
2122. Jed ClampettAnd what Jed Clampett wants, Jed Clampett gets. So, y'all support Stephen Colbert now, y'hear?
Tupac is in da house!
First president endorses our next President, Stephen Colbert
It's becoming clear to me now why Stephen's running on both the Republican and Democratic tickets. He is clearly the candidate of old white patriarchs (not to mention two thirds of the Holy Trinity have signed the petition), locking down the Republican primaries, as well as of people who are dead, locking down some of the big Democratic Primaries, like Illinois.
2596. george washington
Stephen Colbert's candidacy welcomed by the Democratic Party of Southern California
American Poet Laureate throws his support behind Stephen Colbert
THE American Poet Laureate, Robert Frost, signs the petition in support of Stephen's candidacy:
In an exclusive (must cite Stephen Colbert for President of the United States), Frost added in a missive scrawled upon faded parchment::
2782. Robert Frost
Stopping By A Voting Booth On A Snowy Evening
Whose nation this is I think I know.
On Comedy Central is his show;
He will not see us voting here
To help a nation him to follow.
The precinct watcher must think it queer
To vote without a platform clear
Except a thirst for truth to slake
And end the rampage of the BEAR.
She gives her voter rolls a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the hum
Of vote machines now on the take.
The polls are lovely, dark and bare.
It's time our nation to repair,
And to elect Stephen Colbert,
And to elect Stephen Colbert.
Tom Hanks says - You've got a Presidential candidate in Stephen Colbert
2780. Tom Hanks Do we have to beg? I'm not above begging at this point.
Stephen Colbert compared favorably to Ronald Reagan
2831. Spencer Ritter Ronald Reagan did it, so can you.
Alexander Hamilton endorses Stephen Colbert for President!
Well, then the least you can do is to take that $10 bill and contribute it to Stephen Colbert's candidacy!
3828. Alexander Hamilton We need you Stephen. Please save us!!!
The People's Media Company endorses Stephen Colbert for President of the United States
Get Stephen on Act Blue
He is actually running, which is more than can be said for Al Gore (who has four committees and over 200k raised via ActBlue).
Get on it Colbert Nation!
Stephen Colbert runs Sam Brownback out of the race for President
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Support Stephen Colbert at ActBlue - New BKAD member, Stephanie Tubbs Jones added
We've added her to our Stephen Colbert for President page at Act Blue. Help Stephen raise the political capital necessary for his inevitable run for president by throwing your support Stephanie's way via the Stephen Colbert for President page at Act Blue. Remember, the money primary is already under way so let's make sure Stephen wins it!
Labels: BEtter know a district
Stephen Colbert subtly announced his candidacy for President of the United States
Monday, July 02, 2007
Unity '08 piggybacks on Stephen Colbert's run for President of the United States
Unfortunately, they may prove to be too clever by half. Colbert Nation wants Stephen to run for President. And what Colbert Nation wants, Colbert Nation gets. After all, we are the heroes (Stephen says so, and, he is never wrong).
So guess who's going to be winning the presidency on the Unity '08 ticket. Stephen Colbert, that's who.
GQ supports Stephen Colbert for President of the United States
Building capital for Stephen Colbert's run for the presidency
Frank's lesson in parliamentary procedure (a classic)
Frank drive-by put down of Patrick McHenry (another classic)
Frank - Did they think we were going through their pockets? (another great one)
Frank (in the minority) - Most ethically repugnant, intellectually, dishonest, morally bankrupt ... conscious, deliberate deception
Time for a little bit more of the Colbert magic!
Support Barney Frank and Stephen Colbert for President!
Labels: BEtter know a district
Support Stephen Colbert at ActBlue
So, to help start generating political support, we've started the Stephen Colbert page at Act Blue. And what better way to get it started than with the home of the Stephen Colbert Museum, Colbert County, Alabama.
So here it is folks. Contribute early. Contribute often!
Support Stephen Colbert for President!
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Kissinger supports Stephen Colbert for President
Kissinger for Stephen Colbert for President
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Colbert suitable for Presidency?
During the last presidential campaign, Stephen Colbert, as I recall, satirized this tendency by declaring his own suitability for high office as the son of French "goat turd farmers."So, Stephen was way ahead of the curve, as always, noting his own suitability for high office long before anyone else noticed.
Update: Indeed, Stephen was so far ahead of the curve, that he apparently is even more suitable than the son of French goat turd farmers. Here's a slightly different recollection from much closer to the election at Notes From Atlanta.
Rarely does anything make me fall on the floor laughing. The Daily Show did last night. The report was on Edward's son of a millworker and Gephardt's son of a milk man humble beginings. But who could possibly top Obama's humble orgins as a son of a goat herder? From my memory, Steven (sic) Colbert:
"Well Jon, I am the son of a turd farmer and the grandson of a goat ball licker.
Yes Jon, a goat ball licker. You see, in the old days the most important thing was to keep the goats happy. The easist way to to that...
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Looking at one of the pictures, I'd have to say they should really change the name to decision2008.com, because this picture just screams (and not even under torture) "I'm the decider"
Stephen Colbert wants YOU! (to vote for him for President)
Dick Cheney - America's Scariest Authoritarian Leader says vote for Stephen Colbert for President
And really, people, you don't want to be on the bad side of America's scariest authoritarian leader (though if you do, go here).
As Stephen says, this
is never not scary.
The election is officially over, people.
That's right. God wants Stephen Colbert to be President of the United States (and you'll note how he also hinted that Stephen is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything by signing the petition at #42. Need we say more?
For those photojournalists who were sleeping on the job, one of the staffers here at SCFPOTUS caught the moment on his cellphone camera.
Stewie Griffin gives up quest for world domination, perhaps settling for being the man behind Stephen Colbert's throne
One of the most serious contenders for President/world domination (face it, its pretty much the same thing now), Stewie Griffin, has bowed out, endorsing Stephen Colbert for President of the United States at #27 here.
I'd say that kind of clears the field of major contenders for world domination, no?
And really, what's better than the open endorsement of and backing by a Machiavellian genius.
Can he do it? Duh!
A new endorsement that should win over the different trade unions (the working man knows who is on his, or HER, side - its a modern world, after all).
That's right, Bob the Builder, has come out in support of Stephen for President, displaying his trademark confidence at #1695 here:
|1695.||Bob The Builder||Stephen! You must run for president! Can he do it? Yes he can!||Colbertocrat|
We have but one quibble. Seriously, Bob, it's not even open to question. Can he do it? Well, duh.
President Bush names his successor: reaffirms his nomination of Stephen Colbert for President
Well, as always, President Bush hears the cries of the common man. And he, in his wisdom, has appointed his successor, Stephen Colbert at number 1338 here.
Indeed, in his eloquent wisdom, he says:
And, since President Bush is not just a great but the greatest President ever (the only two choices really), and President Bush, who is never wrong, has said that Stephen is the betterer of the two of them .... that would make President Bush only the greatest President ... so far. And, by the transitive property, would make Stephen Colbert the greatestest President ever after he is elected unanimously in 2008.
1338. George Dubya Bush He would be much betterer than myself's own person.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Just to make sure you were paying attention, President Lincoln endorses Stephen again
Succinctly put with eloquence as always, Mr. President!
1017. Abraham Lincoln Ever since I died, no one else has had Balls Like Stephen
Taking the lead in the "Money Primary": Mr. Drysdale endorses Colbert as the "Greatest President!"
In a rare interview by Susie Felber here, where she sneakily tries to trick him into slamming Stephen, Mr. Drysdale, quick on his feet as always comes out full force for Stephen:
Felber: Stephen Colbert: Ruthless taskmaster or unforgiving tyrant?
Drysdale: Greatest president.
There you have it. A titan in the world of finance, trustee of the Clampett fortune, Mr. Drysdale endorsing Stephen as the Greatest President Ever before he even takes office.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
The thanks of a grateful nation
And, knowing the Vice-President to be a man of his word, the nation has responded with no known effort to draft him for President (other than the cuh-razies over at the Washington Times or the ongoing attempt to backdoor draft him by impeaching his boss) unlike other potential candidates who have many clamoring for their candidacy despite their repeated declarations they are not running.
Or perhaps everyone just knows how good Dick Cheney is at dodging a draft.
Confirmed: President Bush supports Stephen Colbert for President
Chelsea deals huge blow to mom's candidacy - endorses Stephen Colbert for President
Abraham Lincoln posthumously supports Stephen Colbert for President
Stephen Colbert for President: a modern Heracles slaying the Bush family Hydra
Archegooglists reveal first known endorsement of Stephen Colbert for President
Seems like some members of the liberal media are getting ahead of themselves...
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Stephen Colbert - He's not just member of the sexiest men alive club, he's the President
Anyway, it's about time we had a President with sex appeal again, rather than one who gives awkward, unwanted backrubs to other heads of state (Daterub is still rub, sir). Where have you gone, John F. Kennedy? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Indeed.
Oh, and let's not forget, Stephen has successfully vanquished another opponent, George Clooney, who announced back in September he wouldn't be running for political office for fear of running into the juggernaut that is the most popular celebrity write in vote getter*.
*In White County, GA
Stephen Colbert receives the most write in votes ...
(Hat tip to DB over at the No Fact Zone)
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Colbert wins the only Presidential primary that matters, handily dispatching Jon Stewart head to head
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Rolling Stone scoops the world: Stephen Colbert tacitly admits he is running for president, drops Stewart from ticket, names Obama as running mate
"When Colbert traveled recently to his alma mater, Northwestern University, to be the grand marshal at the school's homecoming parade, he noticed "Colbert/Obama '08" T-shirts throughout the crowd. ("I can't tell Jon I'm dropping him to go with Barack,'' Colbert tells me later. "Maybe he'll read it in this article.")"
More importantly, he also reveals that Jon Stewart, beloved mentor that he may be, has been dropped from the ticket in favor of Barack Obama who clearly brings some serious political star wattage to the ticket. Of course, this also reveals Colbert's clear political acumen. In one fell swoop in a throwaway paragraph in Rolling Stone, Colbert cuts the legs out from under two of his strongest rivals for the presidency in one fell swoop, one by abruptly leaking that he's being dropped from the ticket and the other by naming him as his VP candidate. A move like that takes balls, and Stephen Colbert, though you probably need not be reminded, has big brass ones the size of coconuts. And, at the same time, reveals that one of this nation's leading academic institutions is endorsing him for President.
Some people might foolishly wonder whether Stephen Colbert has what it takes for a long, grueling political campaign
To them we say, pshaw. One need only reflect back a few months to Stephen Colbert's first and greatest defeat of a political opponent, Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris and Stephen went head to head for the naming rights to a magnificent bridge in Hungary and, well, Stephen kicked Norris' ass all over the internet. The magnitude of the blowout was something akin to Dizzy Gillespie against a birthday cake. Indeed, Norris after early leads didn't even finish in the top 5 of either phase of the voting. And Colbert's performance was, by all accounts, against the man:
- whose calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd because no one fools Chuck Norris.
- who counted to infinity - twice.
- who was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
- who can slam revolving doors.
- who doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- who can divide by zero.
- who, when he gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
- whose wristwatch has no numbers on it but just says, "Time to kick ass."
- who the Boogeyman checks his closet for when he goes to sleep each night.
Leading libertarian ahead of the curve endorsed Stephen Colbert for President in July
Senator Russell Feingold implicitly endorses Stephen Colbert for President
1) the utter dread of being nailed by Stephen Colbert (see the incumbents who were afraid to face Stephen in his 435-part Better Know a District series).
2(008) the fear of being humiliated in an election by the electoral juggernaut of Stephen Colbert backed by the unstoppable force of Colbert Nation.